Hold On, Let Me Get The Phone… A Comedic Memoir of Horrific Hearing Problems
by Jon Dumaine (aka Jon Hébert)
New Orleans musician Jon Dumaine faces the ultimate threat to his sanity—an extreme case of sound sensitivity in this hilarious, heartfelt, and humor-filled memoir.
Reflecting Dumaine’s newly fractured state of mind, Hold On, Let Me Get The Phone’s narrative unfolds through a collection of absurdist adventures: a Heavenly battle between good and evil; a top-secret operation to steal a government tinnitus curing device; his failed attempt at stand-up comedy; and a family forced to burn his book to keep warm on a cold winter’s night.
Health issues have plagued Dumaine in the past, but none as dangerous as hyperacusis and tinnitus, a thieving combination of extreme sound sensitivity and ungodly ringing in the ears. Friends, family, and doctors all thought the conditions would heal on their own. Yet they stick around for over a year without improving, and no medical professional can offer a diagnosis or effective treatment.
When an audiologist unearths the mystery diagnosis of hyperacusis, Dumaine begins a long, expensive, and frustrating healing journey, set to face the head demon in his quest for mental quietude: his own mind. Among the many therapies he undergoes, mindfulness-based meditation is the most promising. But to reap the benefits, he has to go through—not around—his conditions, delving into the heart of the hearing problems that nearly destroyed his relationship, sanity, and career.
Earnest and ridiculously fun, this genre-bending memoir explores what it means to live with—and push through—chronic pain, and to find healing on the other side of impossibility. Join Dumaine as he invites you to experience what it’s like to have the sound of sizzling food cause you intense pain, to have a child’s laughter make you run away in fear, and to have ringing in your ears so loud and insistent that you’re constantly telling everyone, Hold On, Let Me Get The Phone!